Part 74: Anecdote of the Day

So the glasses frames I've been using for the past four years or so finally broke a couple months back, and I mended them best as I could.


I did an okay job soldering them since I've had some jeweler's practice before, but they weren't quite right.


So I went to optometrist's today to see about getting a new pair.


My optometrist is at the local clinic, so there are of course a number of other doctors there.


--I didn't get a screenshot of it, but this old lady says something that strongly suggests that her sons are Mayor Kapu and the drunk Innkeeper Hal.--


So I pull into the parking lot, and I see a small area with very few cars in it.


I start wondering why the only cars there, save for one, are expensive Italian sports cars.


Then I notice the tiny little sign that reads, "Physician Parking Only."


Okay, so that explains the fancy cars. All except for one.


One very special car.


It's a gigantic Ford truck emblazoned with these side door stripes interspersed with HARLEY DAVIDSON logos.


And when I say gigantic, I mean gigantic. This car took up one and a half stalls.


Apparently it's some kind of special edition truck commemorating the 105th anniversary of the Harley Davidson company?


There's a bumper sticker on the back. It reads, "Ya can't fix stupid."


Its vanity plate simply states, "DA MD." That's "The M.D." in HCE, if you thought it was some sort of brand reference.


So I go to the normal, full parking lot and find a space.


As I'm walking toward the clinic's main building, I see this tiiiiiiiiiiiny little Japanese doctor, probably standing barely five feet high, still in his lab coat, walking toward the physician lot.


It would be almost inappropriate if the giant truck didn't belong to him.


He scaled it, hopped in, revved up his engine, and peeled the fuck out.


This was like the first time I've ever seen a huge car like that and thought, "haha, that guy is pretty badass" and not, "he's got to be compensating for something."


This is the Friendly Yan. If you want to encounter him, you will have to run around Vile Island and probably run into a few unfriendly Yans in the process.


Apparently he can spin his horns?






And now,

we prepare ourselves for Ipsen's Castle.








"...? What's up, Kawelo?"
"I work alone.
I don't know why you bother carryin' dead weight all the time."
"What's your point?"


"Hilda said there's some key here to break the seal, am I right?
Let's see who finds it first. I'll be going by myself, of course."




Now, you can tell him that he's not allowed to go, but I dunno, I never have. He probably goes anyway.






protip: you can't


IPSEN'S CASTLE


It is a rather notorious location. It's full of bottom-tier weapons, because the weapon formula is inverted or something.


This mural gives you a hint toward that, but still. Kind of nonsensical and obscure.






This never really bothered me. These Gargoyles die instantly if you use a Soft on them, or if you kill the Agares accompanying it before they can be "softened."


There are a lot of treasures here that require some exploring to get to. However, pretty much all of them are just bottom-tier weapons, so unless you really need Synthesis materials (this is where it is suggested to get your Javelin for the Save the Queen if you synthesized/sold all your others; you're still out of luck if you don't have a Silver Gauntlets, which you probably don't because I'm pretty sure they're used in a high-level recipe).


The Veteran is the last stop in our adventure to finish up Iz's Blue Magic library. Doom is a shitty spell--hell, pretty much all of Iz's spells suck because they're either weird low-accuracy status effects, or because their damage is so unreliable--but I mean completion

Anyway we accidentally kill this asshole.






"Take a look at that wall. Maybe you can figure it out.
But it's no longer my concern.
I proved myself right. I don't need to follow you around anymore."
"Oh come on you spent like ninety percent of that time just hanging out on a badass airship"





--

FUCK FINALLY--








And that, as they say, is that

Now to inspect that mural.











"Like Hilda said, those things on the wall must have something to do with the seal.
Let's think about that later. We need to get out."






Jeez, you guys just get uglier and uglier.











This is Shock, by the way.

It does dismal damage if you follow the "rules" of this area. Equipping low-strength weapons makes your standard physical attacks strong, but your spells and abilities are unaffected by these backwards mechanics.

Shock's formula is based on the strength of Huihui's currently-eqiupped weapon (At least, I think it is). We have a Broadsword on him at the moment, so it's not even breaking four digits.

I've never had problems with Ipsen's Castle because I've always favored casters. As it turns out, if you only use spells, being unaffected by the topsy-turvy attack formula, you won't even notice that something is different.





NEXT TIME